My thoughts? Jesus. Jesus is really good ALL the time. This trip has allowed me to step back and see him working in the simple ways, which I always fail to look for in the midst of the fast-paced American lifestyle.
My favorite part of the day here is siesta time aka coffee and nap time. I have had some of the best coffee, Nutella crepes, and naps ever. Seriously, this country knows what’s up. As Emilio would say, “it’s lit”. I never really take naps, well that is not true at all. I take lots of naps, but that is usually me crashing with complete exhaustion because I tend to drive myself into the ground with stuff to do. Not here. Naps are scheduled into my day and it’s beautiful.
Besides physically resting, I have made the time to have Jesus time. Besides church and chapels, I have found myself journaling and reading a lot. I realized how empty my life had been and how much more peace I truly have when quiet time is in my life as a priority instead of an ‘if I have time’ thing. Cynth got me this amazing book for Christmas that I am almost finished with because I cannot seem to put it down. It is all about emotions and if you know me, I have a lot of them. (You are welcome Dad, I can admit it). But seriously, I struggle with them and constantly feeling out of control. I love control. I have seen that regardless of the out of control situations around me, it doesn’t mean that I, myself, need to be out of control.
Looking back, I am able to see God preparing me and giving me rest for the days ahead. He truly has and I love being able to take the time to actively see his hand in my life. I needed that perspective and the reminder to put Jesus at the forefront.
The days ahead…a few days ago on January 7, my Grandma Sharda went to the hospital. She’s not doing well. My heart broke. She is home with hospice and my whole family is there.
And I am still here…1,500 miles away. I need to be there and I want to be there. Grandma is so excited to see me and the feeling is mutual. So yes, my heart is breaking more and more, but Jesus is SO good. I got to talk to her on the phone on Tuesday and just be loved by her. She’s awesome in case you don’t know. Sassy and awesome.
This feels like it came out of the blue and honestly it did, but I am not out of control. JESUS IS IN CONTROL. My Grandma has lived a kick ass 88 healthy years with a beautiful marriage of 63 years and always had Jesus as number one in her life. If I can be half the woman she is one day, then I will feel pretty accomplished.
So I fly out tomorrow morning.
I am coming home, Grandma! Lord willing, I cannot wait to see you. I love you mucho.